"Not everything is symptomatic..."

One of the most important things that my local oncologist, Gregg Newman at Sansum Clinic, told me early on is just that; not every ache and pain is attributable to, or symptomatic of, the cancer.  That having been said, I think that a cancer survivor (which I believe you become from day one), whether newly diagnosed, in treatment, or 10 years out from the end of treatment,  would be less than truthful if they said that in the deep, dark recesses of their minds, that specter materializes when a strange pain or condition suddenly appears.  As Lance Armstrong has said, "Cancer may leave your body, but it never leaves your life."  

While my left leg and my balance have continued to improve, since last Friday my left hand has been feeling numb, weak and listless and it continued periodically over the weekend around my lips on the left side (new tumor, right side).  That has since gone away, but the hand numbness is constant now, which is troubling, at best.  I called the clinic and talked to the on-call oncologist (tongue-twister).  His opinion was that it may be attributable to the decrease in steroids that we did after the last dose, so he suggested an increase back to the higher dosage.  Who knows if the increase is what stopped the face numbness, but it has indeed stopped; the same can't be said for the hand numbness, though.  Of course, with the increase in the steroid dose, my left hand, ankle and both knees feel swollen and tight.  Steroids, as I've said before, are the double-edged sword in this whole mess; damned if you do, damned if you don't.  I'm scheduled for another infusion tomorrow. 

I try to keep this in perspective.  I try to tell myself it's not related to the tumor, just a side effect, and I do a damned good job of convincing myself (he said, wiping the bead of sweat from his forehead).  It's always there, though, in that deepest, darkest recess of my own mind, keeping company with the Boogie Man.

Now, on to the big announcement.  I'm inviting anyone who would like to join me for the Bay Area  LAF Livestrong Challenge on July 13, 2008, to become an official member on TEAM TOMSTRONG (I'm working on the jerseys, don't worry).  We'll be raising money as a team to benefit the Lance Armstrong Foundation.  More information will follow shortly.  In the meantime, some preliminary info to hold you over  http://www.livestrong.org/site/c.khLXK1PxHmF/b.2661929