Now it's official

Do you know how you know when you're really a cancer patient?  For me it was yesterday sitting in the reclining chair at Sansum Clinic hooked up to an IV for four hours while hope was being infused into my body.  

I can honestly say that I don't feel like I've been in denial at any point over the past seven years with my cancer.  Sure, I've had some interesting ways to face it, like spelling out rather than saying, "B-R-A-I-N  T-U-M-O-R," in private car or midnight conversations with myself or God early on, and still occasionally; you do what works, after all.  I think I've always considered the IV treatments the most visually impacting and uncomfortable in my own mind.  I can't give you a defensible reason for that perception, however, and the treatment was a piece of cake and far less intimidating in actuality.  I think that Anne and I were so anxious to get back on the attack that we were not able to be intimidated by the actual event. 

After the treatment we talked about side effects and such, of which I had some nausea last night which passed quickly.  I am scheduled for a second infusion in two weeks and then two weeks following that with a scan to gauge my progress to follow.  

Today is Caitlyn's 17th birthday.  It's a stormy day outside, just as it was then, so it's bringing me back to the moment.  No more talk of tumors today.